It’s 2:38am…

And we have a new little man in our lives. He was having a tough time going back to sleep after his last feeding so here we sit, cuddling on the couch watching Gilmore Girls as he lids slowly get heavy. Man have I missed this! Newborn is my favorite stage, middle of the nights feedings and all. I live the smell, the noises they make as they drink their bottles and all the snuggles.

So, this all started on Tuesday. I opened my email and there it was. An email from our foster care coordinator asking if we would take placement of a 3 day old boy. 3.5 hours later I was at the hospital picking him up. He is a tiny little peanut. Not a preemie but fits in preemie diapers. Speaking of diapers, while new ball game and so much more difficult than changing girls. By the time I get them for daycare, circumcisions are all healed and they’re usually over peeing as soon as the air hits them so dealing with that has been a learning experience. We’re getting in the groove though. He hates having his diaper and clothes changed though and very much prefers being dressed and snuggled in.

When I picked him up, the nurse said the most he was only drinking 20 ml’s at the most. I was honestly shocked they were even letting me take him home. We couldn’t bring Bella home from the NICU until she was consistently eating 60 ml’s on her own. He was also a little jaundice. Luckily, he’s eaten no less than 30 ml’s here and is now wanting between 60-90 ml’s. He’s not going to stay a peanut for long at this rate.

I have no idea how long he will be with us. They were just starting to investigate and I haven’t heard a word from the SW since we left the hospital. I’m sure this whole covid thing makes things even more difficult than normal. For now, we’re enjoying loving on him and the girls are handling the new addition like champs. It helps that Daddy is home full time now and the weather is getting nice here so they get to be outside a lot.

Alright, little man finally seems to be solidly asleep (🤞🏻) so I’m going to go try putting him down and getting some sleep myself. Hope you are all staying sane and healthy during these crazy times!

Lots of love~Dawn

Hello!

As I sit here, on the couch, with my two little monkeys beside me having screen time on the iPads because that’s what we do in the mornings around here; there’s a bunny hopping across my neighbor’s yard. The sun is shining and the sky is blue here in Western WI. It was 46 degrees when I got up about an hour ago, but it looks like it will be another beautiful day here.

I don’t know about all you lovelies, but beautiful days really help during these crazy times. We are on day 40 of this quarantine. WI shut down schools beginning March 18th and with that, my daycare shut down also as I have all school employees for parents. I chose not to stay open for essential workers because any cough or cold for Milah also means inhalers and we just don’t want to risk it.

I handled the first 30 days or so pretty well but this last week I’ve really started to get antsy when it comes to being away from family. Being away from my Mom is especially hard for the girls and I. I go over and talk to her through her window once in awhile, but I can’t take the girls because what toddler understands you need to stay 6 ft away from Grandma?!

My motivation at the beginning of this was high. We immediately went and got paint and supplies to start projects. I managed to get the hutch painted and new hardware on and the lower kitchen cupboards got painted (mostly, the doors still need a second coat) but that project has sat for the last 30 days with nothing else getting done on it. Finishing requires me to stay up after the girls go to bed so it has time to dry before they get up and by the time they go to bed, I just want to sit and relax.

I keep thinking I have all this time to meal plan and cook and eat healthy and exercise, but I have no motivation to actually do it. I’m at my heaviest weight yet and all I want to do is eat the yummy food. I’ll get it figured out eventually but today is not that day.

Having two toddlers through this unprecedented time is both a blessing and a curse. They’re young enough and because of doing daycare in our home, they’re used to being here all the time so their schedule hasn’t changed much. The hardest thing for them is not going to playgrounds or seeing family. We don’t have to worry about school work either so that’s nice. However, face it, they’re not at easy ages and Milah’s terrible two’s are made worse because we also deal with PICA. If you don’t know what it is, it’s where you eat things that normally do not get eaten, at least not beyond the first taste or two. Sand, dirt, chalk, you name it, my kid will put it in her mouth and eat it and it makes doing fun stuff really hard at times. Especially because Annabelle loves painting and art but I just dread bringing it out because I know What will happen. That being said, we do try to do something sensory most days. Kinetic sand is a favorite with play doh right up there. I also got a sensory table from ikea that I need to put together yet and a bunch of bags of dry beans and rice to put in there. This quarantine is going to be a long one so I’m trying not to bring out all the new stuff right away.

We also try to get outside as much as we can. Bella has become a pro at peddling her trike so we’ll go around a couple of blocks with her on the trike and Milah in the push car and they love that. We got a bunch of wooden playground equipment off marketplace last week so Justin is working on getting that put together. In the meantime, they have their playhouse, trampoline and gator that they love to drive around the yard. Some of our area pools have already announced they’ll be closed for the summer so we also bought a pool yesterday for the girls. It’s wide enough that Mama can lay on a raft in it but shallow enough that they will be able to still stand. Other than that, they do get entirely too much screen time these days but I’m not too worried about it. We offset it with plenty of play and outdoor time.

I hope you are all staying well. Mentally and physically. I will try to work on being more present here. I have all good intentions and then I’m just wore out and don’t keep up on reading as I should much less writing. That is a goal to work on!

Lots of Love~Dawn

Before
After

The Guilt That Comes With Saying “No”.

About a week and half ago, I got an email from the foster care coordinator asking us if we’d be interested in having a 2 yr old girl placed with us. She turned 2 in April which pretty much means she’s smack dab in-between F and G.

My heart fell because I knew we would almost for sure need to say no, but I asked her if we could have the weekend to think and pray about it. I knew we’d need a very obvious sign from God that we should take this little one in for us to say yes, but I also knew the guilt that I was going to feel if we said no.

Some of you might think, why would you ever say no? Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do as a foster parent? Hell, I think that to myself pretty much anytime it doesn’t work out. Here’s why we had to say no this time.

1.) Can we just say 3 toddlers? 3 toddlers! And not triplets that are all kind of at the same stage but 3 toddlers within a year of each other, all with some kind of trauma in their lives, even if 2 of them have been with us since birth. I get completely exhausted just thinking about it. It’s not a baby that I can set down or wear while I chase the other two. It’s another one that most likely will quickly get caught up in the whirlwind of my 2 little monkeys and become a 3rd little monkey.

2.) It’s going to be a very busy Fall daycare wise so adding another toddler just doesn’t seem smart to me. On top of that, DH will be back to work and coaching so I’m pretty much a single Mom Sept-February.

3.) DH’s Dad was just diagnosed with cancer. I feel like he has enough on his plate right now without adding a 3rd toddler to run after.

4.) We had a 3 yr old boy for about a week and a half this past February and the girls had an extremely hard time with it. I just feel like until they’re a little older and can understand why we do what we do, we need to try our best to keep it in birth order for now which basically means, sticking with babies.

5.) We don’t have a vehicle that will fit 3 toddler carseats right now.

I’m not going to lie though, I do feel incredible guilt with saying no. I want to scoop up every child and keep them safe and give them love and if we could afford for me to be a SAHM vs. a WAHM, we could’ve and probably would’ve said yes.

Fostering is hard whether you say yes or not this time. I pray they find someone amazing to love on that little one while her Mama is getting help.

Summer Fun!

Welcome to my new blog! I have another blog out there but due to some family circumstances needed to begin a new one that is more anonymous for the time being.

I’m an adoptive and foster Mama with two little toddler monkeys, F and G. The first started walking right at 1 and started climbing everything right after and the 2nd took forever to walk but could scale things no problem! She is now toddling all over which makes the summer more fun and more challenging all at the same time.

We started our summer off out East!

We had a ton of fun being with family, eating lots of yummy places, swimming, the aquarium and more. We also hit up a ton of playgrounds across the north eastern half of the US because we drove.

I bought a few fun activities to keep them busy in the car, but unfortunately, the car seat trays I bought didn’t work with our seats so it made doing the activities difficult. Thankfully, we had the iPads and jet pack with so Blippi and YouTube kids to the rescue! Full disclosure, my kids watch more than 60 minutes of screen time a day. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about it but then F can tell me most letters in the alphabet and I didn’t sit down and teach her that so then I don’t feel so bad about what they watch.

We’ve also done a couple camping trips this summer. It’s a lot of work wrangling our two monkeys outside of their environment but they love it. They prefer to be outside (another reason I don’t feel too guilty about the screens) and our camper is too tiny for them to do much but sleep in there so it’s a lot of outside time for them. Mommy isn’t huge on camping but DH comes from a camping family. My family’s idea of camping was staying in a cabin with indoor plumbing and electricity 2 weeks every summer. 😂

I had a week away from the family in July. I headed to Salt Lake City for Young Living’s international convention. It’s always a great time and it was fun to road trip out there with my Sister and friends. We arrived at Mt Rushmore just in time for the lighting up ceremony on our way back home. That was fun to see a good way to stretch our legs a bit.

The other night we went to this great park and splash pad in a nearby city. The girls had a blast. I got some fantasy pictures but they’ll have to wait until G is officially ours to share.

August will be spent getting the house ready to start back up for the school year. My Mom’s taking the girls for a few days next week so I can completely clean out, clean up and organize the house. We also will have what is hopefully the last hearing for TPR for G. After that, God willing BM doesn’t appeal, the only other hearing should be to finalize the adoption. We have to wait for the 30 day appeal period to end before we can apply for adoption assistance and that takes 4-6 weeks to get the decision back so we’re probably looking at late October or Early November before we can finalize. If she appeals, we’re looking at another 6-12 months. Prayers that she won’t appeal are definitely appreciated! I look forward to writing again and sharing what our family is up to with you all.

Some photos of the girls without their faces to show the fun they’ve been having.