The Guilt That Comes With Saying “No”.

About a week and half ago, I got an email from the foster care coordinator asking us if we’d be interested in having a 2 yr old girl placed with us. She turned 2 in April which pretty much means she’s smack dab in-between F and G.

My heart fell because I knew we would almost for sure need to say no, but I asked her if we could have the weekend to think and pray about it. I knew we’d need a very obvious sign from God that we should take this little one in for us to say yes, but I also knew the guilt that I was going to feel if we said no.

Some of you might think, why would you ever say no? Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do as a foster parent? Hell, I think that to myself pretty much anytime it doesn’t work out. Here’s why we had to say no this time.

1.) Can we just say 3 toddlers? 3 toddlers! And not triplets that are all kind of at the same stage but 3 toddlers within a year of each other, all with some kind of trauma in their lives, even if 2 of them have been with us since birth. I get completely exhausted just thinking about it. It’s not a baby that I can set down or wear while I chase the other two. It’s another one that most likely will quickly get caught up in the whirlwind of my 2 little monkeys and become a 3rd little monkey.

2.) It’s going to be a very busy Fall daycare wise so adding another toddler just doesn’t seem smart to me. On top of that, DH will be back to work and coaching so I’m pretty much a single Mom Sept-February.

3.) DH’s Dad was just diagnosed with cancer. I feel like he has enough on his plate right now without adding a 3rd toddler to run after.

4.) We had a 3 yr old boy for about a week and a half this past February and the girls had an extremely hard time with it. I just feel like until they’re a little older and can understand why we do what we do, we need to try our best to keep it in birth order for now which basically means, sticking with babies.

5.) We don’t have a vehicle that will fit 3 toddler carseats right now.

I’m not going to lie though, I do feel incredible guilt with saying no. I want to scoop up every child and keep them safe and give them love and if we could afford for me to be a SAHM vs. a WAHM, we could’ve and probably would’ve said yes.

Fostering is hard whether you say yes or not this time. I pray they find someone amazing to love on that little one while her Mama is getting help.

Summer Fun!

Welcome to my new blog! I have another blog out there but due to some family circumstances needed to begin a new one that is more anonymous for the time being.

I’m an adoptive and foster Mama with two little toddler monkeys, F and G. The first started walking right at 1 and started climbing everything right after and the 2nd took forever to walk but could scale things no problem! She is now toddling all over which makes the summer more fun and more challenging all at the same time.

We started our summer off out East!

We had a ton of fun being with family, eating lots of yummy places, swimming, the aquarium and more. We also hit up a ton of playgrounds across the north eastern half of the US because we drove.

I bought a few fun activities to keep them busy in the car, but unfortunately, the car seat trays I bought didn’t work with our seats so it made doing the activities difficult. Thankfully, we had the iPads and jet pack with so Blippi and YouTube kids to the rescue! Full disclosure, my kids watch more than 60 minutes of screen time a day. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about it but then F can tell me most letters in the alphabet and I didn’t sit down and teach her that so then I don’t feel so bad about what they watch.

We’ve also done a couple camping trips this summer. It’s a lot of work wrangling our two monkeys outside of their environment but they love it. They prefer to be outside (another reason I don’t feel too guilty about the screens) and our camper is too tiny for them to do much but sleep in there so it’s a lot of outside time for them. Mommy isn’t huge on camping but DH comes from a camping family. My family’s idea of camping was staying in a cabin with indoor plumbing and electricity 2 weeks every summer. 😂

I had a week away from the family in July. I headed to Salt Lake City for Young Living’s international convention. It’s always a great time and it was fun to road trip out there with my Sister and friends. We arrived at Mt Rushmore just in time for the lighting up ceremony on our way back home. That was fun to see a good way to stretch our legs a bit.

The other night we went to this great park and splash pad in a nearby city. The girls had a blast. I got some fantasy pictures but they’ll have to wait until G is officially ours to share.

August will be spent getting the house ready to start back up for the school year. My Mom’s taking the girls for a few days next week so I can completely clean out, clean up and organize the house. We also will have what is hopefully the last hearing for TPR for G. After that, God willing BM doesn’t appeal, the only other hearing should be to finalize the adoption. We have to wait for the 30 day appeal period to end before we can apply for adoption assistance and that takes 4-6 weeks to get the decision back so we’re probably looking at late October or Early November before we can finalize. If she appeals, we’re looking at another 6-12 months. Prayers that she won’t appeal are definitely appreciated! I look forward to writing again and sharing what our family is up to with you all.

Some photos of the girls without their faces to show the fun they’ve been having.